Either I am really ugly, or the discord created by your looks has a lot more to do with your personality than your actual looks. I have never in my life been hated for the way i look nor have i ever seen anyone who has been hated for the way they look, and I live in LA, i know a TON of “pretty” people. People do not hate each other unless the hated person has given them a reason to do so. From what I see in your writing, you seem incredibly vain. That is probably what created discord, not your physical appearance. The bragging about your intelligence, the bragging about your looks as if your “beauty” was an absolute truth. Your saying that you are incredibly good looking even though in your youth, no one ever told you that…if no one told you that then how do you know it is true? You are just assuming. Plenty of unattractive people think they are good looking, and those kinds of people are easy to hate. people with a realistic view on themselves and a little modesty, are not.
Being a woman with 3 daughters and 1 son I have earned the right to say the following:
Allow your daughters to be goddesses. Not only do they deserve it, THEY ARE! Simply teach them the difference between inner beauty & strength vs unrealistic social paradigms. And seriously, drop the equality/feminist crap. Equal rights is one thing, but we are built different then men and each sex is better at DIFFERENT things. 99.99999% of women do not want the majority of jobs, 24/7 focus, or physical characteristics of men; nor do men desire to be on compassionate call, on the feminine wave of emotion 24/7, or have to enjoy grooming as much as us. I love looking sexy and do fully shave for my husband (along with many other beautiful goddess tasks), and he loves taking care of me in SO many manly ways! Teach your girls to embrace their feminine cores, and your boys their masculine, and (respectfully & lovingly) the alternate if your beautiful child falls into that category as well.
I am pretty butch, to say the least. My daughter is the queen of foofie. We just sort of exist around the other’s drag. My mom, almost a Mrs. Cleaver, broke me up when my daughter was about 5 and totally into the Disney princesses. My daughter found a picture of my mom when my mom was about 20. The kid said, “Wow, grandma, you used to be beautiful.” With no pause my mom said, “But I am always smart. Brains are better than beauty – brains last.”
I just would like to react to the comment equating Zionism with Nazism.
Zionism, claiming that Jews are a “chosen people” is not racist it is not even exclusive.
All it means that Jews have a unique talent, capability, a unique role in this world they are obliged to perform towards others.
It is not superiority it is an obligation for service.
Instead of claiming they are better and can destroy others or seclude themselves from others they are responsible for the whole world.
Each nation and in fact each person has individual strength and weakness, unique talents and deficiencies.
Each nation and person has to find their way in the beautiful, colourful mosaic of humanity and perform their roles in order to raise humanity to its optimal level of existence.
As the article explains the role of the Jews is to teach people how they can interconnect, build mutually complementing cooperation above and despite their inherent differences, above mutual distrust and hatred.
How could that be equated with an ideology that clearly claimed superiority of a certain race even allowing that race to exterminate others?
Thank you for the thought provoking article, and I am impressed also by the comments it has evoked. There is such a broad diversity of responses to the main message of the article–that Jews must practice and publish the principle “Love your friend as yourself!” It occurs to me that the one common denominator in all the reactions, among the various respondents, whether written outright or implied, is a longing for the implementation of love in the world between all the various religions, nations, ethnicities. In the sense that this now world-famous principle of loving one another did certainly spring from the ideological tradition outlined in this article, the Jews have been a light to the nations. We all feel the sublime beauty contained in the principle. If only we could find a way to sit as equals and focus on how to manifest this state between us, what problems could not be solved? Who cares about dogmas, customs, rules, blame, etc.; it is the state of love between us that we need because it can make a place for everyone. We would do well to study the ancient texts of the ideological tradition to brought this concept to the world and discover the method of how to make it real among us in our ordinary lives. If there is a leader(s) in the science of how to make love real in the world, I would call such a messiah. One thing is certainly clear, it is only through unity that true wisdom and peace will be established, through somehow learning how to sit together and unite above all that divides us in a way that all feel heard and respected. Anyone who knows how to lead us to this, please step forward! If we Jews have the know-how in our tradition, let us unearth it and use it to heal our fractured world. It does feel as if we are “living on a powder keg and giving off sparks.”
This. Is. AWESOME. I am the eldest of four children and my 8 year old sister loves nothing more than to devour a book. She has a better vocabulary than half of the people in my college classes, and really couldn’t give less of a hoot about what other people think. I wrote my college application essay about how her gallantry through her celiac disease inspires me, but she has shown me so much more than that. Elli represents the person I wish I could have been 12 years ago. My life would have been so much different if I had her confidence and bravery at her age. I am so glad to have had the opportunity to help foster her sense of self-worth, and I could not be more proud of her. Thank you Latina, for reminding us that every interaction with a child matters, no matter how short.